"Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn! Abbott: What? Costello: I said I don't give a darn! Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop."
On Tuesday I came up with a clever idea for this particular blog. I love allegories and there are many wonderful allegorical uses with baseball as a theme and unending analogies. I have been at bat writing this blog 3 times, and have lost it twice after it was completed, and once midway through because I was not paying attention, I was distracted. "Baseball is an allegorical play about America, a poetic, complex, and subtle play of courage, fear, good luck, mistakes, patience about fate, and sober self-esteem." ~Saul Steinberg
I have given myself the position of Manager of this imaginary, but real team of candidates, who have announced a campaign to seek the Presidency of the United States.. I have assigned their various positions on this baseball team. "The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided." ~Casey Stengel I am in this instance the soul arbiter of management and commentary.
There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.
Manager's Assessment: If ever was a manager's dream for a Right Fielder it is Rick Santorum. He is perhaps the most devout social conservative in this years primaries. Rick quickly defends Conservative postions. When he is at bat he hits a line drive hard over the first base line. If he hits a homer it is always delivered to the right field, porch or bleachers. Even his fouls go down the right field land. Rick is having trouble making a connection with the fans who vote for allstars, and that shows in his low polling average. Rick is going to have to find a way to make his message resonate in this crowded field. The shift in the early primary schedule could be his new best friend. "No game in the world is as tidy and dramatically neat as baseball, with cause and effect, crime and punishment, motive and result, so cleanly defined." ~Paul Gallico
Starting at Center Field: Mitt Romney
"Stubborness is usually considered a negative, but I think that trait has bee a positive for me" ~Cal Ripkin
Starting at First Base: Gary Johnson
Starting at Pitcher: Newt Gingrich
Starting at Catcher: Rick Perry